When Life Sucks, Play Videogames. (:

Everyone gets depressed. If you have never been depressed then you are one lucky fucker. After a weekend filled almost entirely of downs; I find only one source of solace. Fiction. There is nothing better at taking your mind of the stresses of reality like going into a fantasy land and live a life from a new perspective. Think about it; oh no, my boyfriend just dumped me, ah well, I'm having WAYYYY too much fun in Narnia to give a crap. My goldfish died? But I'm in a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I don't have a goldfish - I have droids, and I don't care if they die, they come in abundance and let's be honest, they're pretty useless anyway (much like a goldfish).

Now, my preferred media of fiction has always been the videogame. On average it takes a day for an entire storyline, it's interactive, you actually have to make effort so it actually give a sense of satisfaction whenever you manage to do something superbly cool, and if you repeat it again it wouldn't be exactly the same. Other such media include TV (soaps and such), Movies, Books and even quite a lot of music have a story in it's lyrics that people like to pay attention to. Soap's have to be the suckiest form of media, they aren't interesting in the slightest, there are no superlatives, crappy dialogue, crappy humour, and absolutely NO-ONE has gone Super Mutant Behemoth hunting (Fallout FTW).

There is also the greater simplicity with videogames that needs to be paid attention to. They seem to follow set patterns, which reminds me, HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT EVERY RPG BEGINS WITH THE HERO IN BED??? Seriously, protagonists must be the laziest people ever. You have the double jump function, the breaking of crates, the eating of food to regain health, the saving of a princess, all these commonly loved clichés combine to give that feel-good factor and that memory of playing these kinds of things as kids. I have to say, all this shenanigans about videogames turning children violent, if you give lil' Bobby an SMG (a gun) and stand him in front of a wooden crate (Note: don't actually provide kids with weaponry to prove a point), odds are - he WON'T shoot the crate to splinters for the hidden goods inside. Videogames don't turn kids violent, 'chav' culture does that.

So next time you get depressed, give Mario a go, if not for the gaming aspect then for the 'Shrooms at least. Or Fallout/Mortal Kombat/PacMan/Doom/Devil May Cry...so on so forth.

Live long and play hard.

Hugwhore <3

The Lone Wanderer? What about his 'Fawke'ing companions?!

Fallout 3 is epic. When I say that, I don't mean the ill-informed teenage meaning of it's really...REALLY good, I mean it in the poetic term of it consists of it's own Universe. If you continue through doing all the simple missions then you'll never actually realise that there are boundaries that you can't cross; only if you attempt to search for them will you actually find them thus you're pretty much in a world of it's own with it's own Pokédex of differing beastly and still quite grotesque but pretty helpful creatures. First time I played, I for reasons which should now be clear named my character Odysseus.

The game begins with your birth and your first mission is your baby steps. Yes, seriously, you have to go through a bit of your childhood before you're roaming the Wastelands mezzing Ghouls. The reason being to direct your character (who at this point seems much like Tommy Pickles trying to get out of his playpen) to having certain specialities and a reason for having those specialities, so much like an ACTUAL childhood, so I do definitely praise the game for making an alternate timeline appear believable. An aspect which never ceases to astound me is how when you begin the game, all the rooms seem so begin, when you return them later as an adult in 'Trouble At The Homefront', they seem so small (they did actually change the size, but it still manages to give a nostalgic feeling) .

The storyline is amazing. You and your father start in a Vault designed to protect everyone from the Wastelands; everyone seems SO happy, but then your father ditches you and the 'Overseer' turns psycho killing your friends, gee, thanks pops. Then you escape so you can find him, it's a bit of a search but when you find him you find it was to finish his SCIENCE PROJECT! Not to take out some great evil or to save some hot babe that he used to know, nope, just some mundane research. Noble, once you know what the research is for, but still.

One mission which I shall mention specifically due to the greatness of it and the imagination behind it. Tranquility Lane. This is where you're in a virtual reality simulation and being forced to do some tasks by a psychotic child pleasantly named Betty. The area is much like Stepford, pretty much everything is (seemingly) perfect, which makes the tasks all the more fun. They vary from making lil' Timmy cry to murdering every resident in the enclosed utopia, pretty DAMN awesumm!

There are various companions which you can recruit throughout the game, ranging from a 'lil puppy dog names Dogmeat to a MAHOOSIVE grossly disfigured SUPERMUTANT names Fawkes. Each of which will only join you depending on whether you've been a goody-two shoes*, an evil bastard, or a boring shite throughout the game. The best companion to have is more than definitely Fawkes, he only joins if you're a hero at this point, so be good for Fawkes' sake. Companions are fun to have, and well recommended because they make it feel like you're in your own ikkle gang; however, if you recruit one and they die, I would say try not to care, to keep restarting so that you can keep them takes WAYYY too long.

Now, it may seem like the games intended for people who have no life looking at how much is in it and how long it'd take to get EVERYTHING done. However, WHO CARES ABOUT HAVING A LIFE?! When in real life will you ever get to use an Alien gun which you found at an ACTUAL U.F.O crash sight to kill an army of Supermutants to save a captive who should really owe you a favour if you catch my drift. The game is amazing and if you've never played it before, then get off your arse and find someone you can borrow it from. When you complete the game, it gives you a big sense of satisfaction, that's right you've spent a week or so finding your father and continuing his research, well done at making something of yourself (but now you've finished, try to socialise a bit and actually make something of yourself).

Live long and 'You've Gained Karma'

Hugwhore <3

*Do baddies wear one shoe or something? I don't see how that aids in being evil...