Aww, 'Kward' Is Such A Lubberly Turtle.

His name is Kward. So if you find him cute you can say 'Awww, Kward'. If not, he's just Kward.

Are you one of those people that experiences an awkward social situation on a near-daily basis? You're not? Damn, this is awkward. Well, I am a very socially awkward person and like the turtle's expression above would describe; it's not fun. If you're reading this thinking you've had some bad examples, think again.

I'm sure everyone's had the blushening moment when they think someone's waved at them, so waved back and turns out, they haven't a clue who the HELLLL you are. Consider yourself Mario because you are about to get '1-up'ed. I was strolling through my College all happy one morning when I saw a girl that I knew, pretty smart girl and pretty friendly and she invited me to sit with her one time prior, so I raised my hand as to signal a still wave - she subsequently raised hers as to make an 'Ew.' gesture stating 'I don't do high-fives' and walked on. All I could do was go beetroot and mutter silently to myself 'that wasn't a high-five' =/, to quote Flight of the Conchord, 'I've got hurt feelin's'.

To further demonstrate how much of an awkward character I am; I'm going to talk about my favourite break up. Went to an Amusement Park with a group of friends, one of which was my girlfriend of the time that I was going to break up with because I liked someone else, and at the time I figured the good guy thing to do would be to do it early rather than letting it drag out. BAD IDEA. I told her as soon as we got to Thorpe Park and we were the ONLY TWO that didn't go on rides. She had motion sickness, I scream like a little bitch. We stood next to each other for hours not talking...the phrase 'So, this is awkward' is not enough to summarise the combined embarrassment we both most certainly felt.

A third example from the good 'ole primary days. I sat next to this girl who I had quite the crush on; during these times I also had a bad habit of...well, nose-picking (WHICH IS GONE NOW, I SWEAR!), anyway, I was in class one day when I ventured for a booger, the teacher having seen this went 'EWWWW! KANE' so I now have the entire classes attention, this girl then turns to me and says 'Did you pick your nose or something?' - I responded as you would, denied it, did the lame cool guy thing and laughed it off like 'hahaa, noooooo' and gave a little smile. Teacher then said 'PICKING YOUR NOSE AND EATING IT! EW'. Thanks, Miss Palmer.

I, of course, have many more. When I didn't get a joke, so I felt like a twat, when I've made a joke that others didn't get, so I felt like a twat. Quite a few times when I've gotten in the way of a disabled person or a Mother with her buggy, that's always slightly 'Oops, sorryyy'. At the same time, I'm sure there are ones SO MUCH worse than mine...like this douche:

Unless he's utterly soulless, he musta felt pretty bad.

Well, if anyone else has had any pretty bad awkward moments; please share with me :) either on the blog or just a message, this has got me pretty interested now hahaa

Live long and...

Well...

This was awkward.

Hugwhore <3

(P.S. Don't you just hate it when you say goodbye to someone, then walk in the same direction as them for like 5 minutes. It's like, I said goodbye, please leave.)

(P.P.S That's pretty much what's happening here, I've signed off but guess who's still reading.)

I Think, Therefore I Am...Emo.

A question that has eluded me over the past year or so is;

WHAT THE FUCK IS AN EMO?!?!?!?!? >_<

Seriously, you get people that claim to be ‘Emo’ merely because they dress in black and like the term, I want to shoot these people. The only time I think I can actually accept that a person is actually an ‘Emo’ is if they listen to the ‘Old School Emo Rock’ from the seventies, not the new Fallout Boy or My Chemical Romance music, they’re more along the lines of the ‘Emo’ fashion rather than the music itself, admittedly they are both unique but not particularly ‘Emo’.

Another idea is that an ‘Emo’ is a person which is mentally disturbed, always depressed, and always selfish;

‘You just got mugged? :O, OMG! Why does everything happen to me =’(’.

So to further portray this, throughout the rest of the blog, I shall have a split personality shown in the parenthesis. :) LET’S ROCK!

This is a typical ‘Emo’ response.

‘Hey Billy, wanna join us on a whirlwind adventure of love and happiness?’

‘No, I’d much rather spend my time alone sobbing and playing ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ on my ever-so vulnerable forearm -.-’

(J-heez brav, that ain’t a way to speak, alie? [My multiple personality is a chav? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? >_<])

A clear distinction has to be made here. An ‘Emo’ is NOT a person that cuts themselves; some ‘Emo’s do cut themselves, but the fact that they do so is not what makes them an ‘Emo’. It’s the fashion, it’s the attitude. Any person that is proud of the fact that they cut and use it as a way to define themselves, they’re attention seeking and should be ignored.

There are two different kinds of ‘Emo’s; the happyhappy colourfuls, and the dark depressives. The difference between the two; Depressives make me want to cause them pain (Let’s shank ‘em! [Dude, sort your diction out, it’s atrocious!]), the Colourfuls make me want to cause pain to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re happy, but could they be happy in a way that doesn’t irritate the hell out of me or do damage to my retina. All in all, Colourfuls are alright people, they’re depressed but hide it to save face, and they’re still selfish, if they weren’t then they wouldn’t be ‘Emo’, but they have a certain essence about them that also makes them caring and loving. Whereas Depressives are straight-up assholes (Allow ‘em bruv [Don’t make me hurt you ¬¬]).

Now, this may all seem peculiar coming from me because I get accused SO often of being ‘Emo’. I always deny the accusation as, let’s face it, being the stereotypical ‘Emo’ isn’t a good thing, not only that but…THE DEFINITION IS SO EFFING VAGUE!!! >_<. Allow me to recite a conversation I had the other day with a 14 Year Old girl I had never spoken to before.

Her: y r u an emo?

Me: I’m an Emo?

Her: u look it. im an emo

Me: Yeah, what makes you an emo?

Her: i cut myself and my lifes depressing

This is true, I didn’t make this up. How exactly can your life be depressing at 14!? I did a bit of research, she has both parents, a seemingly happy homelife, any problems she actually has have been fictionalised in her head. It’s ridiculous. But what’s shameless is the fact that she boasted this to a complete stranger as some means of acceptance.

Now, to demonstrate some true and rare ‘Emo’ talent; a poem is in order.

My life is now in a rut,

It’s quite a pain in the butt,

I have an average life,

Easy access to a knife,

So I figure why not cut.

My level of annoyance is peaking,

My eyes are continuously leaking,

Nothing bad has happened to me,

It’s just no-one notices me,

Hence why I am just attention seeking.

Ahhhh, aren’t ‘Emo’ lyrics the best. :)

I want to know what people views are on what an ‘Emo’ is, moreso, whether you acknowledge the term or if you think it’s just another label to group slightly similar individuals together.

Live long and try not to cut, FFS. ¬¬

Hugwhore <3

(Ya’know what I think? [Enlighten me] They are sad freaks. They are like Pac-man, sitting in a dark room all day listening to repetitive music, munching pills. [But you’re a chav, no-one actually cares what you think, you’re an insignificant factor in Society, in fact your kind are more parasites to the economy then contributors in any from.] KMT And wha? [DIE!])

*Kills self*

Here's a link to listen to 'The Flight of the Bumblebee' if you didn't get the reference :), rock violin FTW! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XyCZ2x_1vE

I also have to give Kudos to Sam Heybourn, the resident chav for this blog. :)