15 Feb 2010

Aww, 'Kward' Is Such A Lubberly Turtle.

His name is Kward. So if you find him cute you can say 'Awww, Kward'. If not, he's just Kward.

Are you one of those people that experiences an awkward social situation on a near-daily basis? You're not? Damn, this is awkward. Well, I am a very socially awkward person and like the turtle's expression above would describe; it's not fun. If you're reading this thinking you've had some bad examples, think again.

I'm sure everyone's had the blushening moment when they think someone's waved at them, so waved back and turns out, they haven't a clue who the HELLLL you are. Consider yourself Mario because you are about to get '1-up'ed. I was strolling through my College all happy one morning when I saw a girl that I knew, pretty smart girl and pretty friendly and she invited me to sit with her one time prior, so I raised my hand as to signal a still wave - she subsequently raised hers as to make an 'Ew.' gesture stating 'I don't do high-fives' and walked on. All I could do was go beetroot and mutter silently to myself 'that wasn't a high-five' =/, to quote Flight of the Conchord, 'I've got hurt feelin's'.

To further demonstrate how much of an awkward character I am; I'm going to talk about my favourite break up. Went to an Amusement Park with a group of friends, one of which was my girlfriend of the time that I was going to break up with because I liked someone else, and at the time I figured the good guy thing to do would be to do it early rather than letting it drag out. BAD IDEA. I told her as soon as we got to Thorpe Park and we were the ONLY TWO that didn't go on rides. She had motion sickness, I scream like a little bitch. We stood next to each other for hours not talking...the phrase 'So, this is awkward' is not enough to summarise the combined embarrassment we both most certainly felt.

A third example from the good 'ole primary days. I sat next to this girl who I had quite the crush on; during these times I also had a bad habit of...well, nose-picking (WHICH IS GONE NOW, I SWEAR!), anyway, I was in class one day when I ventured for a booger, the teacher having seen this went 'EWWWW! KANE' so I now have the entire classes attention, this girl then turns to me and says 'Did you pick your nose or something?' - I responded as you would, denied it, did the lame cool guy thing and laughed it off like 'hahaa, noooooo' and gave a little smile. Teacher then said 'PICKING YOUR NOSE AND EATING IT! EW'. Thanks, Miss Palmer.

I, of course, have many more. When I didn't get a joke, so I felt like a twat, when I've made a joke that others didn't get, so I felt like a twat. Quite a few times when I've gotten in the way of a disabled person or a Mother with her buggy, that's always slightly 'Oops, sorryyy'. At the same time, I'm sure there are ones SO MUCH worse than mine...like this douche:

Unless he's utterly soulless, he musta felt pretty bad.

Well, if anyone else has had any pretty bad awkward moments; please share with me :) either on the blog or just a message, this has got me pretty interested now hahaa

Live long and...
This was awkward.

Hugwhore <3

(P.S. Don't you just hate it when you say goodbye to someone, then walk in the same direction as them for like 5 minutes. It's like, I said goodbye, please leave.)

(P.P.S That's pretty much what's happening here, I've signed off but guess who's still reading.)

1 comment:

  1. Lol, i was chatting up this girl i liked and she asked if i knew a certain guy. (Can't mention names) 'oh him!' i said 'i wouldn't Piss on him if he were on fire, or perhaps i would, then set him back on fire again' to which she replied. Thats my uncle