I'm going to talk to you today about the trouble with clichés. There are many, and although they are hard to identify; I do believe I have come up with an appropriate definition.
Clichés - A phrase which upon hearing makes a normal and sane person groan with despair on the inside.
This of course means that everyone has a different perception of what can be called a cliché; however I am going to list a couple of my 'favourites' (if they can be called that).
Let's not go there - What you actually mean to say is 'Perhaps we shouldn't discuss this', but for some reason you choose a context of diction which just doesn't make sense. The only time I can see this coming naturally into conversation is if your fiancée makes a suggestion to spend your honeymoon at a holocaust re-enactment.
Go ballistic - Commonly applied to suggest that someone is angry and full of rage. However, ballistic actually means to have the attributes of a projectile. So, it gives the impression that the angry person in question is soaring through the air, which I guess is a 1-up from 'hitting the roof'.
Literally - It's amazing what people have done nowadays. I've known people to LITERALLY die from running so much, I know an O.A.P who LITERALLY has a heart of gold, I went to school with this guy called Ashley; who - some girl made me aware - was LITERALLY the biggest tosser in the Universe. I swear; next time someone uses this term and it ISN'T literal, I will hunt them down and make guitar strings out of their intestines. Literally.
What's the time? *taps wrist* - The cliché here is the tapping wrist gesture. When asking the time, it's not particularly necessary to have to point at your wrist as to give a subtle lecture of 'And this is the part of your body where you'd be most likely to find the time'.
It's not rocket science - What do rocket scientists say to each other when they don't understand something?
Goody Two-shoes - As opposed to Baddy One-shoe?
Do you know... - A very delightful cliché. It's when someone asks you 'Would you like a drink?'; when you reply with 'Do you know, I would like a drink' it brings about such great enthusiasm which makes it seem like that's the question you've been waiting to hear your entire lifetime. You've just made someone's day.
Go get a life - Go get an original phrase. Usually said at such a trivial situation like having feet on furniture or old people not liking the fact you've actually sat down when on the bus. 'Go get a life.' 'Oh, you mean a life like yours...? No thanks.'
It's like I've known you my entire life - Something said between loved up and passionate couples. I have to question whether this is a good thing. I mean, I've known that Asian guy that works at the post office my entire life - I wouldn't really say we share a special relationship.
Take care - A clichéd farewell which now portrays nothing more than insincerity.
I'm good - When 'I'm fine' just becomes too taxing to say.
Whatever - You're a stroppy apathetic teenager - I get the idea.
The other day - As one of my friends suggested during our high school years, rather than using this term as it is used so often, and by mainly people that don't have much thought to spare, perhaps we should use the term 'Previously' instead. We had fun with this, it made our lives sound like TV shows.
And this is the worst of all Clichés. When I say it, you'll agree because you can't listen to a radio call-in segment without hearing this 5 times a minute. It's in newspapers, in interviews on the television. This phrase must be uttered by at least 100 people at any one time. A large portion of my friends say it and when they do, I immediately think to myself 'so...no original dialogue here then, no?'.
At the end of the day.
When someone says this, I want you to stop them and get them to come up with a phrase of their own. This disease must be vanquished and eradicated from human diction forever, at the end of the day, it's utterly fucking annoying .
Live long and prosper \\// (blahhh'd)
Here's a link to Oxford's list of top ten most infuriating Clichés, I found this after writing the blog and funnily enough, look what was number one hahaa