When Life Sucks, Play Videogames. (:

Everyone gets depressed. If you have never been depressed then you are one lucky fucker. After a weekend filled almost entirely of downs; I find only one source of solace. Fiction. There is nothing better at taking your mind of the stresses of reality like going into a fantasy land and live a life from a new perspective. Think about it; oh no, my boyfriend just dumped me, ah well, I'm having WAYYYY too much fun in Narnia to give a crap. My goldfish died? But I'm in a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I don't have a goldfish - I have droids, and I don't care if they die, they come in abundance and let's be honest, they're pretty useless anyway (much like a goldfish).

Now, my preferred media of fiction has always been the videogame. On average it takes a day for an entire storyline, it's interactive, you actually have to make effort so it actually give a sense of satisfaction whenever you manage to do something superbly cool, and if you repeat it again it wouldn't be exactly the same. Other such media include TV (soaps and such), Movies, Books and even quite a lot of music have a story in it's lyrics that people like to pay attention to. Soap's have to be the suckiest form of media, they aren't interesting in the slightest, there are no superlatives, crappy dialogue, crappy humour, and absolutely NO-ONE has gone Super Mutant Behemoth hunting (Fallout FTW).

There is also the greater simplicity with videogames that needs to be paid attention to. They seem to follow set patterns, which reminds me, HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT EVERY RPG BEGINS WITH THE HERO IN BED??? Seriously, protagonists must be the laziest people ever. You have the double jump function, the breaking of crates, the eating of food to regain health, the saving of a princess, all these commonly loved clichés combine to give that feel-good factor and that memory of playing these kinds of things as kids. I have to say, all this shenanigans about videogames turning children violent, if you give lil' Bobby an SMG (a gun) and stand him in front of a wooden crate (Note: don't actually provide kids with weaponry to prove a point), odds are - he WON'T shoot the crate to splinters for the hidden goods inside. Videogames don't turn kids violent, 'chav' culture does that.

So next time you get depressed, give Mario a go, if not for the gaming aspect then for the 'Shrooms at least. Or Fallout/Mortal Kombat/PacMan/Doom/Devil May Cry...so on so forth.

Live long and play hard.

Hugwhore <3

The Lone Wanderer? What about his 'Fawke'ing companions?!

Fallout 3 is epic. When I say that, I don't mean the ill-informed teenage meaning of it's really...REALLY good, I mean it in the poetic term of it consists of it's own Universe. If you continue through doing all the simple missions then you'll never actually realise that there are boundaries that you can't cross; only if you attempt to search for them will you actually find them thus you're pretty much in a world of it's own with it's own Pokédex of differing beastly and still quite grotesque but pretty helpful creatures. First time I played, I for reasons which should now be clear named my character Odysseus.

The game begins with your birth and your first mission is your baby steps. Yes, seriously, you have to go through a bit of your childhood before you're roaming the Wastelands mezzing Ghouls. The reason being to direct your character (who at this point seems much like Tommy Pickles trying to get out of his playpen) to having certain specialities and a reason for having those specialities, so much like an ACTUAL childhood, so I do definitely praise the game for making an alternate timeline appear believable. An aspect which never ceases to astound me is how when you begin the game, all the rooms seem so begin, when you return them later as an adult in 'Trouble At The Homefront', they seem so small (they did actually change the size, but it still manages to give a nostalgic feeling) .

The storyline is amazing. You and your father start in a Vault designed to protect everyone from the Wastelands; everyone seems SO happy, but then your father ditches you and the 'Overseer' turns psycho killing your friends, gee, thanks pops. Then you escape so you can find him, it's a bit of a search but when you find him you find it was to finish his SCIENCE PROJECT! Not to take out some great evil or to save some hot babe that he used to know, nope, just some mundane research. Noble, once you know what the research is for, but still.

One mission which I shall mention specifically due to the greatness of it and the imagination behind it. Tranquility Lane. This is where you're in a virtual reality simulation and being forced to do some tasks by a psychotic child pleasantly named Betty. The area is much like Stepford, pretty much everything is (seemingly) perfect, which makes the tasks all the more fun. They vary from making lil' Timmy cry to murdering every resident in the enclosed utopia, pretty DAMN awesumm!

There are various companions which you can recruit throughout the game, ranging from a 'lil puppy dog names Dogmeat to a MAHOOSIVE grossly disfigured SUPERMUTANT names Fawkes. Each of which will only join you depending on whether you've been a goody-two shoes*, an evil bastard, or a boring shite throughout the game. The best companion to have is more than definitely Fawkes, he only joins if you're a hero at this point, so be good for Fawkes' sake. Companions are fun to have, and well recommended because they make it feel like you're in your own ikkle gang; however, if you recruit one and they die, I would say try not to care, to keep restarting so that you can keep them takes WAYYY too long.

Now, it may seem like the games intended for people who have no life looking at how much is in it and how long it'd take to get EVERYTHING done. However, WHO CARES ABOUT HAVING A LIFE?! When in real life will you ever get to use an Alien gun which you found at an ACTUAL U.F.O crash sight to kill an army of Supermutants to save a captive who should really owe you a favour if you catch my drift. The game is amazing and if you've never played it before, then get off your arse and find someone you can borrow it from. When you complete the game, it gives you a big sense of satisfaction, that's right you've spent a week or so finding your father and continuing his research, well done at making something of yourself (but now you've finished, try to socialise a bit and actually make something of yourself).

Live long and 'You've Gained Karma'

Hugwhore <3

*Do baddies wear one shoe or something? I don't see how that aids in being evil...

Toats Ma Goats...I Love You, Review.

I would like to review the funniest film I have seen since I was in tears at the age of 11 due to the slapstick antics of Steve Oedekerk in Kung Pow: Enter The Fist (it's not a porno, I promise you). 'I Love You, Man' is a feel-good movie starring Paul Rudd, a pretty normal guy in a very committed relationship who finds that in devoting himself to his future misses, that he doesn't have many friends and actually lacks a best man to his wedding. So henceforth, he goes on a vast search scouring through all kinds of male bonding activity in search of his companion...woah, I have WAYYY over romanticised the plot. He plays poker, goes for beers, that kinda thing until eventually he finds a friend he actually gets along with.

This movie is great and ACTUALLY contains ORIGINAL humour, I have NOT seen that since FOREVER!, the humour is mundane yet effective because it doesn't come from just jokes or slapstick moments, I mean they are included, but it's more to do with the scenarios themselves and the characters involved, per examplé - the protagonist, who happens to be a real estate salesman selling a house for Lou Ferrigno (Hulk), gets a call from the Hulk complaining that his house isn't getting sold, the friend at this point states quite calmly...'Don't make him angry...YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HIM WHEN HE'S ANGRY!'.

Peter Klaven is a loveable character, and he's not mister perfect, in fact, there is a 5 minute segment in which he prances around playing 'Air Bass' screaming 'SLAP THE BASS!' in the utmost appalling 'Reggae' accent ever which is just as much torture for his pseudo-fiancé as well as it is for the viewer who at this point MOST definitely would want to punch him in the face and delete him off their facebook. The main character is socially awkward, and pretty much any guy can relate to him as the movie explores throughout how the privacy you share with a partner, and the privacy you share with your friends is ENTIRELY different and can cause problems if you confuse the two, NEVER tell your other-half that you have a jerk-off station!, from personal experience, bad idea.

By the way, actor that deserves an honourable mention, Andy Samberg. Now, if you're wondering WHO THE HELL IS ANDY SAMBERG...then I have 4 words for you...'I'M ON A BOAT!'. Yes, 'I Love You, Man' features Premature-Ejaculatory Nautical-Themed-Pashmina-Afghan-Wearing Boss from the Lonely Island as the homosexual brother who teaches Peter all he needs to know about men. It can be a little distracting, I mean after every line my mind just whispers '...like a boss' and when he says 'Look at me! I'm pinkies. I'm barely touching it...', I couldn't help but follow through with '...And I Jizzed In My Pants! (8)' and in my mind he had to turn away before that line '...because Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosion (8)'. Samberg, you are legend.

I also need to draw upon the soundtrack, there are certain words that when stringed together activate your brains impulses to send a chill down your spine and make you quiver, and when I heard the line '...I just want to share a smile, with a friend like you...(8)', it just makes me happy as it shows the simplicity of how being with one friend, smiling, having a good time can cheer you up from pretty much any situation, when I heard this lyric I instantly thought, I'm going to like this film. Well done in the choice of music 'I Love You, Man'.

Now, I shan't say anymore about the film. Note: I haven't spoilt anything about the film and all I've said is a taste of the humour and laughs and fun-loving awkwardiness throughout the film, it's highly recommended from Hugwhore perspective (for any prestige that may hold). Go watch it. (It's also the ONLY film I've ever known and ever will know to reference to a squirting grandma on a Sybian with bush like a porcupine, pretty sick image right?)

Hope I've convinced some people into wanting to watch this movie, I love it.

Live long, and Laters on the Menjay.

Hugwhore <3

The Lonely Island - I'm On A Boat

The Lonely Island - Like A Boss

The Lonely Island - Jizz In My Pants

The Lonely Island - Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions

Latch Key Kid - Good Times

A New Moon Review? Bite Me.

As 90% of recent Facebook status's have probably told you, New Moon is out. I went to see it on the first day of it's release with a couple of close friends and I have to say, having not read the book mind, I was amazed by it. I think something the Twilight saga has going for it, is that it's more than just one story, in this movie alone there is a bonding between Bella Swan (human female) with the elusive, silver-detesting Jacob Black (puppydog), and there is the loss and regain of her first and everlasting love, the Cullster (undead).

I have to say, Bella is EXTREMELY misfortunate in her choice of guys, first love was a Vamp, second was a Wolf boy, both of which were constantly saying how much they could potentially 'hurt' her (kinda creepy if you ask me), I'm awaiting the moment we discover she has been concealing a long distance romance with a freaky alien peep from the Fourth Kind, to be fair they're only a tad more conceited than the Cullster (I am...God).

This was a cinema experience, so every needless moment was filled with teenage females fangasming, 'IT'S RATED 12-A *woots and wails*'. It was rather amusing when either Jakey or the Cullster exhibited any amount of flesh, as it was always immediately followed by a deafening squeal from hormone ridden teenage girls with the deepest desire to be Jakey's bitch or the Cullster's...victim?, shortly followed thereafter by a long drawn sigh from the fellas, me being an exception obviously (Jakey is OH SO hot! I would let him do me doggiestyle...And they called it Puppy Lo-o-o-ove (8)...He's much hotter than Vampy, when he took his top off my eyes were drawn IMMEDIATELY to the fact that he had one nipple bigger than the other. Ew.).

Which brings me to the point, Team Jacob or Team Cullen. Well, Vampires are ultimately cooler...I mean, there are very few ways to kill them, they sparkle in the sunlight and their hair seems to be naturally gelled. They're stylish, fast, and incredibly beautiful from an 'Emo' perspective. However, judging between Edward Cullen and Jacob Black gives a different result, Edward is SOOO clingy it is unbelievable, he may be conventionally beautiful and what have you, but seriously, having this guy watch you while you're sleeping, it's more than the slightest bit creepy, and he's overly corny too 'If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't want to live, you are my breath, I eventually want to make you suffocate so I can spend eternity with your rotting corpse', that sounds like the Cullen intentions to me. Jacob, he's hot, he's cute, he's wearing just shorts and trainers for the majority of the film, enough said.

After searching a bit within the Blogosphere. I found a suitable image for this blog created by necros900 on DeviantArt.

Look at it and laugh!

Live long and be safe.

Hugwhore <3

I Think, Therefore I Am...Emo.

A question that has eluded me over the past year or so is;

WHAT THE FUCK IS AN EMO?!?!?!?!? >_<

Seriously, you get people that claim to be ‘Emo’ merely because they dress in black and like the term, I want to shoot these people. The only time I think I can actually accept that a person is actually an ‘Emo’ is if they listen to the ‘Old School Emo Rock’ from the seventies, not the new Fallout Boy or My Chemical Romance music, they’re more along the lines of the ‘Emo’ fashion rather than the music itself, admittedly they are both unique but not particularly ‘Emo’.

Another idea is that an ‘Emo’ is a person which is mentally disturbed, always depressed, and always selfish;

‘You just got mugged? :O, OMG! Why does everything happen to me =’(’.

So to further portray this, throughout the rest of the blog, I shall have a split personality shown in the parenthesis. :) LET’S ROCK!

This is a typical ‘Emo’ response.

‘Hey Billy, wanna join us on a whirlwind adventure of love and happiness?’

‘No, I’d much rather spend my time alone sobbing and playing ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ on my ever-so vulnerable forearm -.-’

(J-heez brav, that ain’t a way to speak, alie? [My multiple personality is a chav? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? >_<])

A clear distinction has to be made here. An ‘Emo’ is NOT a person that cuts themselves; some ‘Emo’s do cut themselves, but the fact that they do so is not what makes them an ‘Emo’. It’s the fashion, it’s the attitude. Any person that is proud of the fact that they cut and use it as a way to define themselves, they’re attention seeking and should be ignored.

There are two different kinds of ‘Emo’s; the happyhappy colourfuls, and the dark depressives. The difference between the two; Depressives make me want to cause them pain (Let’s shank ‘em! [Dude, sort your diction out, it’s atrocious!]), the Colourfuls make me want to cause pain to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re happy, but could they be happy in a way that doesn’t irritate the hell out of me or do damage to my retina. All in all, Colourfuls are alright people, they’re depressed but hide it to save face, and they’re still selfish, if they weren’t then they wouldn’t be ‘Emo’, but they have a certain essence about them that also makes them caring and loving. Whereas Depressives are straight-up assholes (Allow ‘em bruv [Don’t make me hurt you ¬¬]).

Now, this may all seem peculiar coming from me because I get accused SO often of being ‘Emo’. I always deny the accusation as, let’s face it, being the stereotypical ‘Emo’ isn’t a good thing, not only that but…THE DEFINITION IS SO EFFING VAGUE!!! >_<. Allow me to recite a conversation I had the other day with a 14 Year Old girl I had never spoken to before.

Her: y r u an emo?

Me: I’m an Emo?

Her: u look it. im an emo

Me: Yeah, what makes you an emo?

Her: i cut myself and my lifes depressing

This is true, I didn’t make this up. How exactly can your life be depressing at 14!? I did a bit of research, she has both parents, a seemingly happy homelife, any problems she actually has have been fictionalised in her head. It’s ridiculous. But what’s shameless is the fact that she boasted this to a complete stranger as some means of acceptance.

Now, to demonstrate some true and rare ‘Emo’ talent; a poem is in order.

My life is now in a rut,

It’s quite a pain in the butt,

I have an average life,

Easy access to a knife,

So I figure why not cut.

My level of annoyance is peaking,

My eyes are continuously leaking,

Nothing bad has happened to me,

It’s just no-one notices me,

Hence why I am just attention seeking.

Ahhhh, aren’t ‘Emo’ lyrics the best. :)

I want to know what people views are on what an ‘Emo’ is, moreso, whether you acknowledge the term or if you think it’s just another label to group slightly similar individuals together.

Live long and try not to cut, FFS. ¬¬

Hugwhore <3

(Ya’know what I think? [Enlighten me] They are sad freaks. They are like Pac-man, sitting in a dark room all day listening to repetitive music, munching pills. [But you’re a chav, no-one actually cares what you think, you’re an insignificant factor in Society, in fact your kind are more parasites to the economy then contributors in any from.] KMT And wha? [DIE!])

*Kills self*

Here's a link to listen to 'The Flight of the Bumblebee' if you didn't get the reference :), rock violin FTW! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XyCZ2x_1vE

I also have to give Kudos to Sam Heybourn, the resident chav for this blog. :)

Confessions of a Teenage Romantic

Love, the mutual feeling shared between two people when they realise that they are not alone anymore.

Okay, so, this is who I am. I have overly romanticised views about love. To me, it's just like - if I find someone that I really like, and they like me too, then what's the problem with devoting yourselves to each other. I guess it's all to do with the media I associated myself with when growing up, the usual story, sweet guy, well-liked by people ends up falling for a sensitive and caring girl. So in other words, my view on love is that I'm Jack looking for my Sally.

Now, I'm older, I no longer hold the superlative childish views of a perfect relationship, a perfect love. I now know there's a little more to it. That when someone says forever, they really mean for the next couple of weeks until we go a little time without talking. I know when someone says 'Love' that their perception of it is as flippant as George Bush on the Iraq war (Politics joke? Seriously? :|), I know that the term gets thrown around more than a Monkey's faecal matter.

I need to cite, this is entitled confessions because I am going to reveal a couple of things which I would never usually state. The reason I have such a romanticised view about relationships, it's because of how I personally get into a relationship. It usually follows a similar routine in which I would communicate with someone, have them be brutally honest with me as to find out the worst things about them, then make them feel good about themselves until the idea of 'Wow, perhaps I actually love this person' pops into my mind. So yeah, I'm Florence Nightingale it seems.

However, my last relationship was slightly different, namely because it involved a choice. I was choosing between 3 people which I knew I could head for a relationship with. One would have been a chase, and very loving and very meaningful, however, I didn't choose this because I'd done it before and had my heart broken. Another, in all basicness, would have been too easy, it'd be a relationship where it'd just be sex, and I didn't want that, I wouldn't be able to cope with an empty shell relationship. So, I opted for the third option, a girl who somewhat liked me, seemed nice, and was someone I barely knew. If I'm honest, I think I made the right decision, it was a great relationship (in the beginning anyways), it was passionate, yet detached enough so that we weren't always having to be together.

Now, this is where my childhood comes into play, I was insecurely attached to my mother meaning I have now grown up to be attention seeking and clingy. It sucks OH SO much. I must say though, I have recognised it, and it's not overly a problem because what I have always said, is that two people that truly do love each other should have the capacity to be perfectly honest with each other. So I would expect that if I become slightly irritating, for someone that loves to let me know and I'll detach myself slightly. It does work, but in my last relationship, it was already too late. It was a relationship built on lies, now it's over I can be honest.

At the current moment in time, I have begun to realise all the original values about love I held so dearly, are a mere illusion. I will never find my Jack and Sally relationship, I may find someone eventually that I care about enough that will be perfectly honest with me. I'm ever the optimist when it comes to love.

This is the final revelation I have made about my recent limbic thought processes. Love, it seems to me, that anyone you truly do love, you can't have a relationship with, there would be too much fear that you would lose them, or things would become too complicated. Because I do love, but in a way that I care entirely for the people, rather than having them solely to me, I care about everything they do in general. This to me is the love I want to keep, it's not the Jack and Sally love I wanted as a child, but it's the next-best thing. As for relationships in the mean time...Let's hope they're enjoyable, and some form of love can evolve from them.

'Every instant spent with you, I feel what others spend a lifetime trying to find.' I've said this to one of my previous relationships. And I actually meant it. A friend asked me yesterday after a dispute with my most recent ex, 'Do you still love her? Because either you'll always love her, or you never loved her at all', I didn't know how to react, or answer. But, I know how I feel, I never lose the love I feel for someone, it only manifests itself differently, to hatred, to jealousy, to spite...or to contentment. I love them always, despite anything I say. I keep the memories with me always, saved on my hard drive, and hidden under my bed, and the memories will NEVER change.

I apologise if this was a little intense to read, I tried to make it as light as possible :) but ah well.

Live long, and love whole-heartedly.

Hugwhore <3

Kane, I am your father...

Well, I had a dramatic day; at least I think it was dramatic. I met my father for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like it was some huge revelation during an epic battle to bring balance to the force, and it’s not like we’re gonna go on a quest to retrieve the Holy Grail at a chance of immortality. Nope, this was more of a, I’ve always known about you, this is to make up for the role model I’d been lacking all my life.

Okay, when I think about, I am angry, I never had a father, it wasn’t his fault but it meant that I grew up missing so much, so the fact that I cross-dress and get overly flamboyant over the colour pink and other such aspects of femininity, it really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. I like who I am. I have people I love and I have fun when I’m with them. But now I find myself where I was many years ago, emotionless. I can’t bring myself to be inspired one way or the other about anything, I’m not sad, but I’m not particularly happy.

So yeh, I have a father now, and I’m looking forward to spending time with the man who is essentially me. I’ve been told we’re not the same person, but looking at him, and then myself, we’re too similar, we’re nervous wrecks that flush tomato when feeling ever so slightly uneasy, not only that, we have the same taste and women (no incest jokes ¬¬), I think this may be in essence why I’ve reverted to my autonomic self, because the fact that every relationship I’ve had has now been explained as ‘It runs in the family’.

Okay, this is getting depressing, so, let’s change it slightly :); I have a father, that’s cool. Some people don’t have the chance to meet their father, so I’m a lucky person. And my life’s going swell :), just frickin’ dandy. :P

Section on my life over.

Dr Who is back!!! He’s returned with an ever so awesumm dark edge which clearly is being portrayed as an harmartia as to bring him towards his tragic death ^^ long live the doctor \m/(^^)\m/. So soon, he shall be a younger model, am I the only one that finds it ironic how the further we progress with Dr Who, the younger he seems to get? :S soon we’ll end up with a toddler using a screw-driver in everyday life. (Tommy Pickles :O...)

This was my blog (:, as you can tell from my style of writing, I’m not too sure if I’m any good and I don’t know whether to keep it emotional, or detached.

So, have a good day (: I need to head back to completing a Key Skills assignment about a necrophile :P (seriously, I’m surprised I was allowed, Tolerance has surely gone downhill in the past century XD).

Live long and rock out :D

Hugwhore <3