They See Me Trollin', They Hatin'

This blog may be filled with hypocrosy in places and if so; I apologise greatly.

There are plenty of things on the internet that can irritate you. PLENTY. However, there is zero point in purposely visiting these pages or embarking on an inane internet argument. You'll never meet any of these people, you'll never impact each other's lives - so don't let them affect your emotions. If you see someone on the net that is wrong or ignorant or whatever excuse you use - just remember the person must have something in their life that made them like that and don't take it upon yourself to change EVERY individual moron.

Now, I am a big Facebooker, I say that...I use it to post this, come up with little aphorisms as statuses and keep up with a few close friends. Every now and then, I'll add someone that seems interesting. This is a list of things that irritate the HELL out of me on Facebook:

1. Having a futile status. Using this great means of passing on anecdotes or major news is often watered down to something THAT NO-ONE WILL EVER CARE ABOUT. You're going for a shower? I don't care. You're watching that Teenage show with the Teenage music? I don't care. You love 'Boyfriend #14' with all your worn out heart? I HONESTLY DO NOT CARE.

2. Having a dogmatic status. On FB, you'll come across plenty of people that like to display a 'shallow depth'. These guys/gals that put on a façade and post statuses about things they personally don't care about; they just want people to know how deep and brooding they can be. So, write your poetic status about emotion/sadness/death...I'm not going to read it.

3. Having an attention seeking status. When someone is upset and they post up just how upset they are, or worse, why they're upset. Don't you have some friends you can actually speak to before you let 'that guy you said hi to once' know? People only ask what's wrong BECAUSE YOU EFFING PUBLICISED IT! If you want someone who actually cares; they'd be able to tell there was something wrong by your manner.

4. Public Displays Of Affection. If it was really just about the two of you, you'd keep it to the two of you. I'm not a fan of normal PDAs, on the internet however, it's so much worse. They can also cause SO MANY problems. If you're going to have a relationship with someone then please just actually have a relationship with them; it's when it becomes diluted to pure Log-In-Love that problems arise.

5. Invitations to play all the pseudo-life apps. Sure, it's unlikely we'll ever be farmers in our lives but there's a reason for that...it's boring. I honestly do have a lot more fun in my land of make believe than doing all these apps with not-so-subtle nuances which are limited by the graphics and algorithms; please - do something productive OR MORE FUN.

One final thing that is the bane of Facebook. When there are personal messages; such as a dedicated status or a wall post to a friend and then someone who this is completely irrelevant to comments on it. It's just irritating. Only comment if you need to or if there's some sly irony in the statement, but DO NOT comment only to reiterate what someone else has just said. It's stupid.

Live long and '... likes this.'

Hugwhore <3

(P.S. If you think something in this write-up is about you; then it probably is. *hint*)

Aww, 'Kward' Is Such A Lubberly Turtle.

His name is Kward. So if you find him cute you can say 'Awww, Kward'. If not, he's just Kward.

Are you one of those people that experiences an awkward social situation on a near-daily basis? You're not? Damn, this is awkward. Well, I am a very socially awkward person and like the turtle's expression above would describe; it's not fun. If you're reading this thinking you've had some bad examples, think again.

I'm sure everyone's had the blushening moment when they think someone's waved at them, so waved back and turns out, they haven't a clue who the HELLLL you are. Consider yourself Mario because you are about to get '1-up'ed. I was strolling through my College all happy one morning when I saw a girl that I knew, pretty smart girl and pretty friendly and she invited me to sit with her one time prior, so I raised my hand as to signal a still wave - she subsequently raised hers as to make an 'Ew.' gesture stating 'I don't do high-fives' and walked on. All I could do was go beetroot and mutter silently to myself 'that wasn't a high-five' =/, to quote Flight of the Conchord, 'I've got hurt feelin's'.

To further demonstrate how much of an awkward character I am; I'm going to talk about my favourite break up. Went to an Amusement Park with a group of friends, one of which was my girlfriend of the time that I was going to break up with because I liked someone else, and at the time I figured the good guy thing to do would be to do it early rather than letting it drag out. BAD IDEA. I told her as soon as we got to Thorpe Park and we were the ONLY TWO that didn't go on rides. She had motion sickness, I scream like a little bitch. We stood next to each other for hours not talking...the phrase 'So, this is awkward' is not enough to summarise the combined embarrassment we both most certainly felt.

A third example from the good 'ole primary days. I sat next to this girl who I had quite the crush on; during these times I also had a bad habit of...well, nose-picking (WHICH IS GONE NOW, I SWEAR!), anyway, I was in class one day when I ventured for a booger, the teacher having seen this went 'EWWWW! KANE' so I now have the entire classes attention, this girl then turns to me and says 'Did you pick your nose or something?' - I responded as you would, denied it, did the lame cool guy thing and laughed it off like 'hahaa, noooooo' and gave a little smile. Teacher then said 'PICKING YOUR NOSE AND EATING IT! EW'. Thanks, Miss Palmer.

I, of course, have many more. When I didn't get a joke, so I felt like a twat, when I've made a joke that others didn't get, so I felt like a twat. Quite a few times when I've gotten in the way of a disabled person or a Mother with her buggy, that's always slightly 'Oops, sorryyy'. At the same time, I'm sure there are ones SO MUCH worse than mine...like this douche:

Unless he's utterly soulless, he musta felt pretty bad.

Well, if anyone else has had any pretty bad awkward moments; please share with me :) either on the blog or just a message, this has got me pretty interested now hahaa

Live long and...

Well...

This was awkward.

Hugwhore <3

(P.S. Don't you just hate it when you say goodbye to someone, then walk in the same direction as them for like 5 minutes. It's like, I said goodbye, please leave.)

(P.P.S That's pretty much what's happening here, I've signed off but guess who's still reading.)

If Stormtroopers Can Love, Then So Can You. ♥

I had started writing a blog on how Superheroes have sex and the various epic events that happen, but then it dawned on me that it was Valentine's Day. So that's on hold.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAYYYY!!!!!♥

I do utterly adore Valentine's day. Sure, it may be commercial, it may have been created by Hallmark; but what honestly is the problem with that? If someone like Hitler discovered the cure for cancer, it wouldn't stop you using it. Valentine's day promotes good things, love, companionship, togetherness. Despite saying this, I do actually believe I have been single every Valentine's day hahaa

Couple's always do things on this grand day, and singles can take great joy in the company of their other single friends; there's no real reason to dislike the day, 'cos even the 'haters' feel a union with their combined dislike of the holiday. It always reminds me of just a general happiness and a warm feeling. It reminds me that life's too short to hold grudges with people; this is the day I tend to make my reconciliation with anyone that needs be and I remind my friends of how attractive they are and how much I appreciate having them.

I don't want this to drag on; so I'll just say - hold no hate for this day and make sure you spend it with the people you love, and you let them know and feel like they're wanted in your life. :)

So, in saying this I would also like to state, to everyone that realises that this is aimed at them, I love you :) greatly and tremendously ♥ (that includes YOU! Scott MUHAHAHA)

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL GODDAMNIT!

Live long, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Hugwhore <3

At The End Of The Day; It's A Cliché.

What's up?

I'm going to talk to you today about the trouble with clichés. There are many, and although they are hard to identify; I do believe I have come up with an appropriate definition.

Clichés - A phrase which upon hearing makes a normal and sane person groan with despair on the inside.

This of course means that everyone has a different perception of what can be called a cliché; however I am going to list a couple of my 'favourites' (if they can be called that).

Let's not go there - What you actually mean to say is 'Perhaps we shouldn't discuss this', but for some reason you choose a context of diction which just doesn't make sense. The only time I can see this coming naturally into conversation is if your fiancée makes a suggestion to spend your honeymoon at a holocaust re-enactment.

Go ballistic - Commonly applied to suggest that someone is angry and full of rage. However, ballistic actually means to have the attributes of a projectile. So, it gives the impression that the angry person in question is soaring through the air, which I guess is a 1-up from 'hitting the roof'.

Literally - It's amazing what people have done nowadays. I've known people to LITERALLY die from running so much, I know an O.A.P who LITERALLY has a heart of gold, I went to school with this guy called Ashley; who - some girl made me aware - was LITERALLY the biggest tosser in the Universe. I swear; next time someone uses this term and it ISN'T literal, I will hunt them down and make guitar strings out of their intestines. Literally.

What's the time? *taps wrist* - The cliché here is the tapping wrist gesture. When asking the time, it's not particularly necessary to have to point at your wrist as to give a subtle lecture of 'And this is the part of your body where you'd be most likely to find the time'.

It's not rocket science - What do rocket scientists say to each other when they don't understand something?

Goody Two-shoes - As opposed to Baddy One-shoe?

Do you know... - A very delightful cliché. It's when someone asks you 'Would you like a drink?'; when you reply with 'Do you know, I would like a drink' it brings about such great enthusiasm which makes it seem like that's the question you've been waiting to hear your entire lifetime. You've just made someone's day.

Go get a life - Go get an original phrase. Usually said at such a trivial situation like having feet on furniture or old people not liking the fact you've actually sat down when on the bus. 'Go get a life.' 'Oh, you mean a life like yours...? No thanks.'

It's like I've known you my entire life - Something said between loved up and passionate couples. I have to question whether this is a good thing. I mean, I've known that Asian guy that works at the post office my entire life - I wouldn't really say we share a special relationship.

Take care - A clichéd farewell which now portrays nothing more than insincerity.

I'm good - When 'I'm fine' just becomes too taxing to say.

Whatever - You're a stroppy apathetic teenager - I get the idea.

The other day - As one of my friends suggested during our high school years, rather than using this term as it is used so often, and by mainly people that don't have much thought to spare, perhaps we should use the term 'Previously' instead. We had fun with this, it made our lives sound like TV shows.

And this is the worst of all Clichés. When I say it, you'll agree because you can't listen to a radio call-in segment without hearing this 5 times a minute. It's in newspapers, in interviews on the television. This phrase must be uttered by at least 100 people at any one time. A large portion of my friends say it and when they do, I immediately think to myself 'so...no original dialogue here then, no?'.

At the end of the day.

When someone says this, I want you to stop them and get them to come up with a phrase of their own. This disease must be vanquished and eradicated from human diction forever, at the end of the day, it's utterly fucking annoying .

Live long and prosper \\// (blahhh'd)

Hugwhore <3

Here's a link to Oxford's list of top ten most infuriating Clichés, I found this after writing the blog and funnily enough, look what was number one hahaa

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/debates/3394545/Oxford-compiles-list-of-top-ten-irritating-phrases.html

Like Mother, Like Toaster

After two months have passed since my previous post. I figure; let's write something up.

So, Christmas was pleasant, hope it was enjoyed, I got clothing...and such. January was good, a good month January was, yes.

Hope you had fun with that little catch up there. <3

BEING HUMAN! Is what I am currently watching as well as I am currently...always constantly doing. It's always nice when a narrative displays werewolves and vampies all living in harmony but I have to ask. WHERE ARE THE FRICKIN' ZOMBIES?! I feel semi-cheated that just because these monstrosities lack a certain brain function that they can't be featured as some kind of comic relief maybe?

George is a lovely character. I would suggest that we would need to compare George with Jacob Black; but that's not true, Lautner's way hot. However, it's always good to see such a geeky, unattractive and flawed character in these things, boosts hope for the rest of humanity.

Werewolf Boosts Hope For Human Geeks LOLWUT !

Mitch is endlessly irritating. He attempts to be the good guy ad nauseum yet he doesn't sorta realise that if he's dropped into the dilemma of NEEDING to kill someone but not wanting to end his 'Dry Spell' because...I don't know, he's a sissy vamp or some shit; why doesn't he just stab the guy until his organs turn swiss. Like, OMFG, wise up and stop bitching Vamp.

Not much can be said about Annie, mainly because she's a ghost and they aren't interesting. She's apparently biologically linked to a toaster according to the latest epoisode, so..WTF? Did she mate with a fridge?! Is the TV the God-Parent?! Did Mitch Bitch some more?! I guess they both have the main attribute of not being alive. That's right ethereal nob-munch, go cry to your corpse and get a life. (Zing.)

Good TV show though, and one of very few I can be bothered to keep up with.

Now, I'mma watch QI on BBC iPlayer. <3

Live long and don't die. (You know, 'cos ghosts are dull)

Hugwhore <3